Food For Thought...

Sorry about that last post...I had big plans I did but something else bigger is coming up!

It's Halloween time!

The time of year when people get to exploit them selves and dress like a slutty nurse, or a slutty soldier, or a slutty Goldilocks, or a slutty slut all for the sake of Halloween! Woooo!!!!

As a (part time) bartender I LOVED Halloween. Have you ever seen a 7 foot tall Gumby fall asleep and knock a beer over with his head? Well I have! How about Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz fall on the dance floor and get to see that her yellow brick road may be more manicured than you'd thought!?!

The other thing about Halloween that I love is spirits...

Now I am not a religious person. Some may say I am an atheist, my mom might say I am a heathen and she raised me better than that. What I do believe in though, is ghosts!
If you are reading this and thinking I AM a heathen: no I don't need to be saved, yes I have thought about accepting Jesus Christ and my lord and saviour and no I do not want your "watchtower".

Yeah yeah, I know how contradictory that is. No god, but ghosts? Heck yeah! Anything spiritual gets my blood boiling in anticip-p-p-p-ation! I have always felt like I have outside senses, I have felt that prickle on the back of my neck, seen a ghost and had dreams that come true in real life. Crazy? Maybe, I never rule anything out but here's the hitch...I'm going to see my first psychic EVER this Saturday. Not one of those gypsy women who look into a crystal ball and make you drink tea and steal your coins. No...a real, dead body finding, baby predicting, super cool effing psychic! I'm like a witness waiting for the coming of Christ, if you're into that sort of thing... Maybe she can tell me if I have awesome ghostly super powers like I think I do, or worse that I don't.

Okay, back to topic: Food for thought.

Every religion boasts their spiritual hoopla for the deceased. Do they go to heaven? Have 72 virgin wives? Eat pork? Here's the rub...what about the ones who get stuck? Not alive, not in a 73 person post-virginal orgy but stuck in the middle where cats stare at you and you can walk through effing walls!

For shits, giggles and imagery think back to that scene in The Exorcist where her head turns and the vomiting happens. Got it? Good. Now...the faithful father's who helped went through the standard list. Father 1 to Father 2: "Holy Water? Check. Yelling things about the power of Christ? Check. Why the fuck is this girl not responding? Those are standard Demon GTFO's!" Well smarty pants, ever think she might be condemned by a Jewish demon? What about a Kabbalah demon? You know what ever is holding up Madonna's bony frame is evil. How about Presbyterian? Methodist? Here's my point: If I, as a cussing, drinking, fornicating unmarried mother of two, don't recognize a single religion...what if the demon that inhabits the body doesn't??? I can tell you right now if I don't make it to the "other side" and decide it might be fun to make someone my puppet bitch, you can throw all the holy water, kool-aid and verbal abuse you got at me! This puppet is way cooler that hanging out in the closet at the bottom of the stairs making "Ooooooo" noises and moving your keys.

A Jewish Rabi, a Methodist Minister and a Catholic Priest all doth protest too much when the demon inhabiting the body is an atheist. Guaran-goddamn-teed.


Here's my Halloween toast to you: Here's hoping that whatever evil spirit may inhabit your body recognizes your organized religion and responds to the standard demon GTFO's. Oh and lets us all stay away from the Scientologists. ((shudder))