I saw on my facebook feed this morning a question directed at women on why we turn down sex at night. I decided to add my 2 cents.
Top 10 reasons why women turn down sex according to me in no particular order:
1-Mexican food. Seriously, is there anything less sexy that getting down and dir-tay and then hearing that rumble?
2-Too damn tired. If persistent, I reserve the right to just lay there though. No ego stroking, no "okay my turn!"
3-Need a shower. I really want you to...ummm..."warm me up" and without a shower, that's not happening for you or me.
4-Indian food. See #1.
5-You pissed me off earlier. Don't touch me, I am still thinking about your snarky comment about how the laundry isn't done. If we have sex I'll have to take off my clothes and that just adds to the pile, jackass. You want nookie, the laundry room is downstairs.
6-You're probably going to piss me off later. Truth. It's coming. I can feel it like a cosmic shift in the atmosphere. Chicks have a sixth sense for this shit.
7-I'm in a really good part of my book. I just invest 3000 pages of my life into the Game of Thrones series. I am now friends with every character. I can't leave them now, they will miss me.
8-I stink. Similar to #2 but this is the covered in baby spit up, sweating, hair all a mess, "is that chocolate?" level of stink. Combined with #3, I'll just sleep now and change the sheets tomorrow.
9-You stink. Ain't nobody got time for that. I'm not talking about that sexy phermone stink, you know. The one where they itch their balls, stinky. Oh YOU know.
10-I want to sleep in and not take a shower before work tomorrow. Sleep is a precious precious gem of awesomeness. There is no time in my life that my bed hasn't been more comfortable at 6am then it has been at 11pm. If I have to get up at 6:30 you can be damn sure I set my alarm for 6 so I can hit my snooze button 3 times and feel like I am cheating the system. I plan my life around if I have to wash my hair in the morning. Don't mess that up.
Anymore you can think of?
